This is me...dealing with grumpy

Day 10 of my 108-Day Reset: A Re-dedication to the Body Temple. I've challenged myself to return to my values as a vegetarian/pescatarian via gluten/grain/sugar free veganism for this period. I'm not thinking of this as a diet but rather a preparation period for a lifelong change. I've also challenged myself to not weigh myself at all in this time. I'm doing this to learn how to really tune in with my body and how it feels after I eat and do activities, etc. So far: Skin less red, joints less achy, clothes looser, eyes clearer, and all of my gut issues (for those of y'all who know me well) are completely GONE. But I'm quite frequently...GRUMPY! Here's me dealing with grumpy.

So, I'm a big fan of the "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" series and the "Reboot with Joe" program that came out of it. As I alluded to in my first post, I've done several reboots...results great...but I wouldn't have a plan in place post reboot and would gain the weight and bad eating habits back and then some.

My aunt passed away recently at 56 due to stomach cancer. She was the youngest of 9. She loved making desserts and...she ate like a horse: 2-3 plate fulls with rice every meal. I remember, after she was diagnosed, how good she felt after I gave her a bottle of Suja (Mighty Dozen) - a green drink and I wondered if treating her for leaky gut would give her more time...or maybe, just maybe, with intention, positive affirmations, "The Secret" she would have a miracle and completely heal herself. But then I realized that there are so many other factors that go into a person's healing journey and I wasn't at the driver's seat of that journey. I couldn't force her to have juice or watch a video and I wasn't the appointed person to save her. It was a hard call. I wondered if I could have just interjected myself into her life to surround her with these other options. At the same time, I had my own issues to deal with and was also supporting my father (who is on dialysis) and his very naughty doggie. My aunt was diagnosed with stage 4 in the spring and passed away 8 months later. Our whole family is on alert and they do take pause with the guidance/warning my aunt has left our family with, but, with the holidays coming up, I am not convinced that anyone will make any real changes. They are completely centered around food and the food of our culture.

I've decided to take charge. It's a challenge to be around the amount of food that appears at our family gatherings, so I decided to boycott the influence of it. I announced that I won't be attending the Thanksgiving and Christmas gatherings and that I don't plan to go to any family gatherings again until around Easter. I said that I'll visit with people individually and participate in Secret Santa.

I know that I'm fighting for my health (and my life, actually) by doing this. But I'm willing to isolate a bit more than I am already to get results and to get myself on track. I can see myself returning to family gatherings bringing a vegan or vegetarian plate or a big container of a yummy juice combo and packing my own meal, but it's important that I take care of me right now and stay focused.

I've done a lot of thinking about this and have weighed in ideas from Reboot with Joe, Martha's Vineyard Detox, Whole 30, Paleo, Keto/Ketogenic systems and the plethora of other systems out there and I've decided to just come back to my values/ideals and do a reboot (plus) to set a tone for a lifelong change. I'm not sure at present how much I weigh, but my heaviest (about 3 weeks ago) was at 250 lbs. My goal is to reset/detox/cleanse my body for 108 days and then transition into a primarily sugar/gluten-free vegan diet (with occasional fish, nuts, legumes, eggs) permanently.

I'm 5'4" and am going for a shed down to 115-120 lbs, but I'm not going to rush it. I just want to consume healthy, cleansing foods, then slowly reincorporate the other foods I listed, making sure I consume grains at an optimal time (like before a workout) and paying attention to my blood sugar/energy levels and keep up this conscious way of eating for the rest of my life.

Right now, I'm mixing it up between juices, smoothies, salads and soups. And am really listening and paying attention to how my body feels in response to pretty much anything (including sounds, conversations, company, smells, sights, etc,). Most of my challenges haven't been so much about resisting foods or saying "no" but they have been around low energy, insomnia and grumpiness (like cray, cray grumpiness). Avocados, though, are an incredible Godsend (will write a post on it soon).

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